As much as we wives can influence and enrich our husband’s lives, we can not be all things for them. There will be times when they want to meet with other men to play golf, or have coffee. This used to be a big bone of contention for me because my husband would be moody and quietly watching tv while at home yet alive and laughing when a friend phoned to invite him out.
When a man goes out to bars, or accompanies men to night clubs I would indeed worry. There is a difference in spending quality time with Godly men, and going out drinking and hunting down women. Any woman who gives her husband the go ahead to be gone until 3 a.m. doing those things shouldn’t be surprised at the outcome. I am not referring to that sort of male bonding.
Yet, Christian men still need to spend time together. If that was not true, there wouldn’t be so much emphasize on it in scripture. The disciples were always traveling and eating. Some were married. Not much is said about Peter’s wife but I am sure if she had been a tyrant about the time Peter spent with Jesus, it would have been recorded.
Too often we women forget how much we enjoy being with other women when our husbands wish to take some time off from us with their friends. It’s good to have friends; I enjoy having time with the girls too. That is how God made us, to be sociable. All through the bible you will find excerpts referring to the disciples talking while doing something or sharing a meal. Sometimes it mentions women with them, but not always. We weren’t’ meant to stay at home and just look at each other every night of the rest of our lives.
Rather than being jealous of my husband’s time with other men, I pray that he has a wonderful time. Let’s face it, there are just some things females will only say to females, and it is no different with men. That doesn’t mean we wives are lacking, it just means God wants men to gather in friendship like we do with other women. Remember, men can’t put on a false face well when they are together. They KNOW too much! Your husband will be sharpened like the bibles says ‘Iron sharpens iron’.
How can an elder come along side a new Christian if he isn’t allowed to spend time with him? The time my husband spends amongst other Godly men is a bonus for our marriage. He comes home refreshed and smiling. On one occasion I remember him leaving on a plane for a week end with a bunch of men and I spent a glorious week end with a dear friend. We both had a vacation.
If you are a clingy wife who demands all of her husband’s attention, you might find a dry relationship. It’s true you can be a friend to your spouse. Yet, you are not the one and only friend. The greatest friend is Jesus first. My tip for this week is encourage your husband to seek time with other men who can be a good influence pointing him in a Godly direction. Watch over your husband with prayer and fasting. There is a time to hold them close and a time to let them go be with other men of God. Your marriage will thank you.
Proverbs 27:17 As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.