It always amazes me when wives are in a crowd with their husbands and speak negative things about them. Words can actually heal and also hurt. Men do not react like we women do. They have been taught to be strong and not show weakness.
Yet, the tongue of a thoughtless wife can do more harm than a sword. I’ve stood in horror as women who professed to be Christians dressed down their husbands in public places. To see a man cringe as his wife laughs at him, or criticizes him makes my blood boil.
God gave us wives a high calling when we said our vows to love, HONOR, and obey each other. We are not sentenced into slavery but a freedom to act on love.
Next month I will celebrate 36 years of marriage to my Shermy. We were just kids when we were wed. He laughed yesterday when I reminded him of the date. ‘I’ve been in this that long?’ he said with a smile. ‘Yes!’ I answered. I tried to look like a domineering wife. It’s a bit hard when I am only a shade under five feet tall and can’t keep a smile from my face. ‘You are sentenced to life without any hope of parole!’
We laughed because we both knew the humor of it all. God has shown us his love and it trickles down into a life filled with highs and lows. Oh yes, there are times when we argue. But, we have learned to fight clean. That is we try to never dredge up all the past to try to win a fight. We do not use words like ‘you always, or you never’ That way we aren’t fighting about ‘you always or you never’. Stick to the issue at hand and pray before speaking to each other. There is a good time, and a good way to approach a difficulty. Remember, you love this person. Sometimes it’s not about being right but growing from that issue.
The bible says, ‘Come, let us reason together’ it doesn’t say ‘Come, let’s fight to the death!’ Marriage isn’t about who’s in control or who is right. It’s about two people growing together…to be one.
We used to be like two wild cats. Now, we understand each other better. We have faith in each other. We enjoy each other and uplift rather than put down. Sarcasm is one of the worst detriments to a marriage. We battled it furiously through the years. ‘Oh I am just picking on you.’ Doesn’t work. It’s not funny if the other person isn’t laughing.
My tip for today is simple. You can do this wherever you go. Don’t over do it or it will look false though. Say something nice about your spouse and do it when you know he can hear you. Watch the twinkle in his eye. Watch him stand a little taller.
Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. [NIV]