Recently my husband and I filled out some paperwork for our church. There was a space to fill in for ‘Where do you work?’ I wrote in ‘Housewife’. Next, there was a space to fill in stating ‘What position do you have?’ I filled in ‘HIGH’
To be a wife is a high calling. The rising divorce rate gives testimony to what I have written. Few young women grasp the idea of giving of oneself without expectation for a return. That is not to say wives should receive nothing for their investment. The word of God clearly states that ‘Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, to make her holy. [psssssssst that means ‘Set apart like something special’].
Yet, with this high position comes some very hard work. We can’t take shortcuts when it comes to making a marriage work. One of the most common shortcuts I have seen is the use of manipulation in a marriage. Many husbands do not even notice when they are being manipulated into doing something. Yet, if you are trying to control or use artful, unfair, means to get what you want…it is manipulation and God will not bless the wife who does this.
Did you know that your body now belongs to your spouse and you can not use sex as a means to control them in accord with God? Yet, how often does the world use sex to manipulate us into doing something to their advantage? Each time you turn on the television a sexual innuendo is given to prompt you into buying a product etc. This is not new, but it will never bring oneness to a marriage.
Stop and think what you are trying to achieve in your marriage. Is what you want your husband to do more important than your husband? Would you like him to treat you with the same artful methods? It’s time we thought about what it is we really want. The world will tell you that diamonds are a girl’s best friend…yet they won’t mean much if you are all alone.
If you had a treasure list, what would be on the list? Would it be filled with things or would you be able to dig a little deeper and be honest about what you really treasure? I think for me, the words peace, contentment, intimacy, and joy would come before anything else. Those things can not be bought or manipulated into being. If I am controlling my spouse through manipulation how would I know if my spouse truly wanted to do the things I chose because he loves me or because I tricked him into it?
Being a wife is a high calling. We’ve much to do and only a lifetime to get it done. The days sometimes wax cold and the mountains seem endless. Yet, it is a high calling. If you have a husband like mine who wants desperately to please, you have a responsibility to not ask for more than he can give. Yet, God is faithful to his princess wives, He gives gifts according to His riches in heaven. He surrounds us with hope and joy as we seek Him with our whole heart. To be a wife is a high calling and to meet the challenge we need the strength of one who is far more knowledgeable about marriage than we are. Jesus!
Make this your recipe for the week. ‘Replace control and manipulation with gentleness, kindness and joy. Sprinkle laughter and tenderness. Serve in large amounts each day.’
Proverbs 16:8 Better a little with righteousness than much gain with injustice.