If you have a husband who abuses you physically or emotionally I would have to advise you to seek help immediately. There is never a good reason to stay with a man who strikes you or abuses you. The bible says that we are to submit to our husbands in the book of Ephesians. It ALSO says, ‘Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her...’ Love does not strike another physically nor does it give emotional abuse. If you think you are in any of these situations, you have to begin thinking of your safety.
Yet, for the woman who finds herself suddenly saved and with an unsaved husband; I want to speak into your heart. Are you asking the Lord to do a 360 degree change in your husband’s attitude about God? For years I kept praying for my husband’s salvation. I would post scripture on the fridge and correct his language constantly. On many a Sunday, he loved me enough to follow me to church. Yet, I was not committed to even going each Sunday so it was hit or miss. When I did hear the sermon, I would throw it at him during the week ‘to make sure he got it’. I knew just enough about Jesus to be obnoxious!
The praise music was put on loud when he would be trying to nap. Imagine, he would work 12 hours and come home to very loud ‘Onward Christian Soldiers’. Yikes!
I wasn’t showing the Lord in the best light because I did not see him clearly myself. Yet, God did not give up on this woman. I searched the scriptures in the hopes of finding something I could use on Shermy. Yet, the word of God spoke to me instead. I realized I had much to learn and asked the Lord for forgiveness in the way I treated Shermy. Also, I went to Shermy with a sincere apology. Suddenly, without my realizing it…I was being transformed.
I remember him asking me a question in a quiet voice. ‘Weezy, why is God so important to you? Why are you always reading that bible?’
This was a turning point in our marriage. I explained that I felt he was a wonderful husband. I wanted the best for him. The knowledge of God was the best I could offer him. Nothing could be better than the knowledge of Jesus Christ for my husband. Also, I wanted to learn to be a better wife. I couldn’t find any directions that made sense amongst the tv programs, women around me or in my own mind. Yet, I had found some wonderful ideas in that bible.’
Shermy sat back and nodded. ‘So, you want to give me the best and you feel this bible will show you how?’ He was suddenly smiling.
I did not know how to show God’s love in my every day walk. Yet, I searched for the knowledge with everything I am. I still do. It’s like sharing your best friend with your greatest love. The more I focused on love, the more I learned who Jesus is. The more I learned, the more I became a living example. At the same time, I was no longer in constant nervousness trying to ‘get him saved’.
For me, I was rewarded with a Godly husband. Yet, I know women who did better than I and their husbands never accepted Christ until their deathbed.
My tip for this week is quite simple. ‘Be a living example of Christ love for your husband.’ Some day, you will stand before God. He will ask ‘What did you do with the gifts I gave you?’ If I never showed the love of God by my daily walk, what could I say? What if I was the only person Shermy would link to Jesus?”
Are you a living example of the love of God? It would have been easy for me to just follow along with Shermy’s methods of living. He was a good man. He didn’t steal or hurt anyone. Yet, I wanted the more for him. When I realized how great a treasure is Jesus, I wanted it for Shermy.
Suddenly, I went to church even when he sometimes did not wish to go. I became active in my decisions to not hound my husband into heaven. When I messed up, I apologized.
The world did not stop. We went through many trials with finances, health, children and family. Yet, the Lord gradually changed this marriage and is still doing so. When it suddenly stops becoming more like the love of God…I will be in heaven.
So, if you can be a living example of Christ to your husband...you will be giving him the greatest gift of all.